I'm just Fighting Temptation

Written by Gustav Tyron Lesa
NZ Born of Samoan descent

Im Just Fighting Temptation (B’s Voice)

Many times life can get you down and that's exactly the place where you feel she is the only one who can get you back up. WHY? I feel it's because of the imaginary head space that she places you in, the place where "nothing else really matters" as deep as Lauryn Hill and Eric Benet sang it.

Arguments, negativity and the most dangerous is your own reality these circumstances are easy controlled by her. Again, you may ask WHY? The answer is simple to me because it's easier to run away with her than to sit down and re-evaluate your situation, become positive to better your situation; and tackle the negativity face on.

What a mouthful and we all know being said or writing about it is not how it will change and that's why to me escaping with her is an easier action then the action that is needed to fulfil what I explained above. The urge to call her on my own free will is so high when negativity strikes it's unbelievable I tell yah, I get to a head space that automatically keeps telling me that I need her.

I fight this constantly until I sit down, reassess and fill my thoughts with positivity, which is a word I have taken for granted for so many years. I am in no way an expert but I do feel the battle with addiction is simple yet complicated if that makes any sense.

It's simple to be negative but it's complicated to be positive.

It's simple for others to say it's not an addiction, then it's complicated because that is how you feel inside.

It's simple to give up but it's complicated to ask for help.

It's simple to relapse but way more complicated to stay strong.

I hope you are getting what I'm saying.

I believe the complication part is actually the negative, which we all know from experience is a way easier option than what is involved to stay positive. I will continue to stay away from her coz lord knows I'm trying and this time I really am; so I'm fighting the temptation Cuba Gooding Jr style(sorry for the movie reference) hahaha.

I know her she's waiting for me to come home and negativity will usually send me back crawling but no! I'm going to honor my nana and do something for my last name so I am going to say again and again it's still Fuck you Mary Jane.