Synchronised Thoughts

What is addiction? Many say it's self-infliction; for me it grips like friction has my mind come strong with intuition, in a position where's it's a trap like a mental institution, gets me far from affliction, yeah it could have been depression but who am I to judge I thought it was me?. As I partake in this journey of correcting myself the feelings great without wealth, this is awkward coz my style, usually stealth keep it to myself we all know that's only way we know, before I asked for help.

The days seem longer now that I'm alert and aware. No longer afraid actually, no longer care if they start talking from the rear coz my thoughts and my mind are now somewhat clear. Damn !!! I'm 43 days clean, I feel mean, no more emotions that had every message I sent to myself get the seen, more like I can now see clearly, success barely, there's more to me that I've discovered now; more than I ever thought I had in me "WOW".

Classes have been a drag questions not answered how I want, so I still leave with the same questions still in my bag is it coz she's old? Is it coz the teacher doesn't know me or my background, do they even try? I feel it's all a lie so I've decided again to do it on my own; so much positivity growing from online but even better my home. It's crazy how days without her have become longer nights, yet I'm so bored I really miss taking flights, I try to think of why I'm doing this which then the flame inside me ignites, the goals I've set and progression I see, I really do love me, and will continue this fight. This road to Victory for me is slow and steady but I know too fast for me will have me easily back to square one and done, mind will escape me retuning back to her for just a little fun. I will never put all my eggs into one basket again coz if all eggs break it's back to being that bastard again with that bitch who still private calls me pretending to be my friend. I now feel comfortable not saying that it's over forever but the mind is clear and I now can actually smell the weather also feeling a little clever. You may not understand but that is not your job, coz as a stoner I was a loner still funny like homer but I'm on my way to home base now so yes this is a homer.

Maybe I miss her maybe I miss the game but I love a clear brain and yes it's still Fuck you Mary Jane!

Gustav BDS.


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